now that I've seen you

now that you're older

naking the time to look

back over your shoulder

on the day's confusion took

now that you're wiser

surely you've learned to read it

you should know

no surface shines brighter

than the light that burns beneath it

never so sure

we always take more

though we still don't know what it's for

...more to come soon

Currently: coughing like a stupid asshole

Listening to/most recently listened to: zero 7, "the space between"

I can tell somehow

Time for a real post! No more cheaping out on lyrics, videos, or pictures (although that was a cool one that came in handy.. and probably mean my parents are reading this now)

But it's time for an update, a real one, not just metaphorical. The first of my course materials came today, I'm quite excited for "canadian political economy". As one of my 'classmates' mentioned in the class website forum, it's an interesting time to be studying this subject, what with a federal election on the horizon. So far, the readings haven't done much for me in terms of teaching me about canada's poli-economic situation, but have already helped me to understand the reasons why bush is a moron, and how his colonial policies are even worse than britain's. In the words of cartman, "maeen that is soo keww"

Speaking of cartman, I've decided that I'm watching EVERY episode of south park, season 1 to whatever, from start to finish. I've already acquired seasons 1-3, but have run into a major roadblock, in that other teevee shows Im downloading (NOT every season of satc that's for sure) have taken up every last bit of space on my external hard drive. Maybe it's time to delete some "movies".. decisions, decisions

Work has been going fantastically, even though I fear a low coming on with the last of my ideas for projects coming to a close. I guess I'm going to have to bite the bullet and figure out how I'm going to get some media exposure for our invisible organization. It's so hard to get started on this!! What I really need is an alumnus mentor who knows how @ works, but also has experience in the media industry in the area of pr. While I'm dreaming, I'd also like $1,000,000 and a pony

My photoshopping has picked up once again, I've found some fantastic pictures of You that I hope to do more with. I think I need to take this to the next level, figure out some new looks that involve multiple filters and different tools. Oh, and I need to give myself more materials. Damn I'm doing so crappily with my guitar! Need to find some kind of motivation to keep building the finger strength and getting better at chords. Just so hard when you suck so badly. Sigh

Weather has been absolutely killer. No, literally, I'd be dead without an airconditioner. The thing has kept me sane/cool, although our power-bill is certainly worse for wear. Also, major-league fuck you goes out to toronto hydro. $440 for a "deposit"? A deposit on WHAT, fuckers, our godamn meter? I swear to god between random "deposit"s, "system access fees", and all that kinda shit, I lose over $1000 per year. Thank god for the sweet, sweeeet tax return that will be coming my way in february. I've already earmarked $100 for the first year of an aerogold visa, woohoooo

Talked to my cousin today for the first time in ages! Great to do so, she's pretty much my only family member that I talk to on a regular basis as a friend, and we hadn't talked in a while. Telling me about how she's getting married, told her about the job and etc., and shot the shit about old times. Good times had by all, hopefully will be a repeat experience

Well, that's enough. Way past bedtime.. damnit!

Currently: thirsty. Chicken strips and chips.. so delicious, so salty.. tear
Listening to/most recently listened to: john mayer, "split screen sadness"

Sidenote: to all you people who shit on john mayer all the time and all this bs about "that's enough john mayer", screw you. Sincerely. I'm sick and tired of looking up tabs online and finding people shitting on him for his personal life, and honestly, I don't give a shit. The guy can
sing and play guitar, and if you don't agree, that's fine as long as you don't try to shove it in my face and justify it by saying he's a dick or something. If you really were into music you wouldn't care about that shit. You are idiots, and that is final

I'll be sure to find you

Currently: safe again
Listening to/most recently listened to: gorillaz, "el mañana"

only love is all maroon

hooray! Photo blog!

the view out my west-facing window from my room

my glorious room set-up, taken from my glorious fullsized bed

a horrible attempt at making octopus soup (the cauliflower was delicious and fishy though)

One of scarborough's many amazing wetlands, visited sunday the 17th. Beach was unimpressive compared to what you'll see below

a duck chilling in the wetlands

Y'eldon, layial and I's glorious saturday night trip to wendy's/the beach. The one that you get to by taking the 93 from woodbine

The view of the city from the waterfront trail. I think Im gonna start keeping a map on here with every water-front that I visit

a sneak preview for us of the amazingness we were about to receive

artsy pic of layial and I

lake ontario. Killer

houses I would love to live in

layial: "I'll make you a facebook profile photo like it was your last name"
don't ask

y'eeeeldonisnaught

the moon rises in the south... east?

so, off to fix layial's computer.. will edit this post and add an update in a bit

Currently: unproductive, pining for the beach
Listening to/most recently listened to: bon iver, "flume"

double cross the vacant and the bored

To the lights and towns below
Faster than the speed of sound
Faster than we thought wed go,
beneath the sound of hope


No apologies ever need be made,
I know you better than you fake it
To see that we dont care
to shake these zipper blues
And we dont know
just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed into the earth below


The street heats the urgency of sound
As you can see theres no one around

Currenly: trying to sleep. To air condition, or not to air condition? Also, pondering whereabouts
Listening to/most recently listened to: the smashing pumpkins, "1979"

I know I can't

See once in a while when it's good

It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

Currently: deep in thought in organic orange
Listening to/most recently listened to: john mayer, "stop this train"

and all at once you have to say goodbye

Sooo... first real post since being in Toronto. Haven't really felt the need to vent in a while, but now's as good a time as ever

I've experienced a lot since I've come here, so many important life lessons. Don't splurge at ikea on your visa, don't trust staples to send you your mail-in-rebate cheque, don't forget to do the dishes, enjoy grocery shopping.. it's mostly about money, but I guess what isn't in life these days?

The "culture shock" of being right in the heart of the big city hasn't been half as bad as I thought, and I can pinpoint that right down to the moment that I discovered the bluffs in Scarborough. Fantastic beaches, picnic areas, nice water in Lake Ontario (SHOCKING), all set on the backdrop of majestic, sweeping bluffs. I never would've guessed I could find something like that just off the subway line

Perhaps the smartest thing I've done since I've been here was to take advantage of John leaving his amp behind, (sorry Eldon!) and buy an electric guitar. It took a while to have a free weekend to do so, but I've finally bought a stand and a pic for it too, so I'm off to the races! I still refuse to play concerts for anyone, but I will when I'm ready. Come on, if you know me, you know that I love to show off

Work itself has been tough. Rewarding, but tough. You don't understand how difficult it is to try and be the visionary on how to publicize a national non-profit until you sit down and figure out where to start. Where does one start? I've chosen to start small, and try to work my way up, taking advantage of alumni contacts and such. I still worry that I'm not going to make the most out of my year, but the only thing I can do at this point is to work my butt off and try to give back what has been given to me. I promise I won't let anyone down

It's good to be busy with work, as at this point, I have come up against one of two of my most serious roadblocks so far in this experience: I'm seriously in debt. The combination of spending too much on my credit card and not paying attention along with having to pay for a class with cash has put me seriously in the red, and I'm glad that I can keep my mind off it for the most part. I really didn't want to have to, but I think I've asked my parents for help with paying for the class. I know that I was trying to go-it alone, but I've decided that coming clean and admitting I need help is better than suffering until the end of this year. Even if they aren't going to help me, it'll be nice to have them understand what I'm going through

Had some pretty great times since I've been here, Frank you've been a fantastic party buddy. Everything from crashing the party at NPM to drunken BBQs at cougars' houses has been fantastic so far. I love you buddy

It was super-amazingly awesome to talk to Rain last night.. kind of surreal with her wearing a hejab! Ahh many other things to say, but not the time or place

So on that note I'm out

Currently: wondering about that rule where you count how many seconds in-between a lightening flash and a thunder clap that tells you how far away the strike was
Listening to/most recently listened to: john mayer, "dreaming with a broken heart"